


Staring contests and other games

by awesomehairdays



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-21
Updated: 2011-11-21
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:44:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomehairdays/pseuds/awesomehairdays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kono's job is perfect. There's only one problem; her boss keeps staring at her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Staring contests and other games

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything; all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).
> 
> A/N: This takes place in a universe where Steve's house has a pool, for some unfathomable reason. I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

···················

Her (few) academy friends can't believe her luck. Getting a job straight away, in the Governor's new task force, it's the kind of opportunity most rookies would kill for.

Kono is aware of her good fortune. She likes her job, and—it just so happens—she's fucking great at it. There are cool gadgets and insane cases and she proves early on that she can be trusted to think on her feet or, you know, kick someone's face in.

She thinks she's really pulling her weight in the team. It's a good feeling. It seems as if the universe has finally realigned itself, the purpose of her shattered hopes for a surfing career has been revealed. She was a really good surfer, but she's an even better cop. She revels in the novelty of it for the first few months.

Until things start to feel off, somehow.

Nothing major has changed. They still close their cases and catch the bad guys and she's still surprisingly good at her job. Only sometimes, she will catch Steve staring at her for no apparent reason. She usually just smiles (casual, unaffected, it's totally normal for my boss to stare at me so much) and looks away. Steve's a perfectly nice guy, fair and easy to work with. He is a great boss, really, except for the staring, which Kono mostly tries to ignore. It isn't really that intrusive, or obvious. Maybe he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Right.

Chin and Danny haven't noticed anything, which means she is quite possibly overreacting-maybe hallucinating the whole thing. And anyway, she reasons. What's the big deal? People stare at her all the time, for lots of different reasons. She's a cop, Chin's cousin, "that girl who can't surf professionally anymore", or just a cute girl in a bathing suit. If Steve wants to stare absentmindedly in her general direction for reasons yet to be determined, what is it to her? She's just doing her job.

So Kono keeps doing her job and Steve keeps staring and she keeps ignoring it.

Avoidance you say? Pffft.

···················

They closed a case this morning and Kono's propping herself up on her desk, trying not to fall asleep over the paperwork. Almost everyone else has already left for the night, and the office is quiet and dull without the sunlight reflecting off the glass walls. She's tired and annoyed and Steve has been staring at her for thirty minutes straight.

Whatever, man. This is bullshit. She gets up, gathering the files to shove in her bag, deciding to finish up at home. She probably has to go over there and say goodnight first, but she'll be out of here in five minutes tops, so…whatever. She exhales, running a hand through her hair in frustration, trying to compose herself, then walks over and knocks on his door.

He's hunched over some form, writing something down, and you can almost believe he hadn't just been watching her for far too long by any polite society's standards.

"Hey Boss, I'm heading home. I'll have the paperwork ready in the morning, ok?"

He looks up reluctantly, as if he's really involved in whatever he's supposed to be doing and she wants to grit her teeth at all the pretending. Whatever, brah. Like they didn't both know he was distracted.

"Sure." He says looking at the clock on his desk. "You need a ride or something? It's late."

Kono smiles thinly. "No, brah, it's fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, no worries. I've got my car."

"Okay then, goodnight."

"Night, Boss."

Whatever, man, what-the fuck-ever.

···················

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, she'd caught some good waves this morning and life is all around pretty damn great. The salt has dried on her skin on the short drive back to her apartment so she hits the shower and actually stays there for a while. It's Saturday and they don't have a case, so they get the whole weekend off. As previously stated: life is great.

Kono plans to spend a lot of time on the beach, catch up with some friends, maybe read a book. Nothing remotely stressful. She meets with some of her friends from the Academy for lunch. They talk about the tedious tasks assigned to rookies, and Noah seems psyched over getting to arrest a kid who tried to rob a sporting goods store. She gives them a watered down version of her job at 5-0, editing out stuff that would imply she is trusted with anything but the most trivial of duties.

Someone asks about Steve, who has apparently developed a reputation for shooting first and asking questions later.

"It's probably just the SEAL training." Muses Kali, having apparently given it some thought. "Not really much use for subtlety."

"I don't know guys." Kono shrugs, trying to pull the label off her beer bottle. "He seems pretty reasonable most of the time." Which he did. Right?

"So he didn't throw a suspect off a building?" Noah asks, only half joking.

"Not that I'm aware of." Kono laughs.

They go back to talking about their superiors at HPD, most of whom Kono only knows in passing, and break it off a bit later.

···················

Danny texts her in the afternoon to let her know they're all meeting up for drinks. It's that or a CSI marathon, so she tells him she'll be there. She pins her hair up and puts on a pair of nice earrings, deciding on a black sparkly top and shorts. She debates wearing dress slacks but it's just too damn hot, so the shorts will have to do.

The place is pretty packed when she gets there but not enough to make her want to leave. She orders a drink at the bar then tries to look around to spot the guys. They're in a small booth in the back of the room so she makes her way over there, taking detours to avoid running into people.

"Howzit, guys."

"Cuz." Chin gives her a nod.

"Officer Kalakaua, how nice of you to finally join us!" Danny cries a little too loudly, probably half-drunk already. Lightweight.

Steve nods at her and smiles. Kono smiles back because, see, this is normal. When the whole team's together there is never any awkwardness. She can almost convince herself she's imagining the whole thing.

She turns to Steve, smirking.

"So, Boss. Apparently, there's a rumor that you're going around throwing suspects off buildings. Care to comment?"

Danny nearly chokes on his drink.

···················

Kono has been chasing this guy for four blocks through someone's backyard, a park, a busy intersection and god awful smelling back alleys and he shows no intention of slowing down. Like, ever. As he starts to climb a fence up ahead, she decides this has gone on long enough, so she pulls out her gun, aims, and fires a shot, centimeters from his left ear. He screams like a girl and falls on his ass.

"Are you crazy, brah? Are you, like, certifiably insane or something, I didn't even do anything, brah, WHY you trying to SHOOT ME-"

"Shut the fuck up." Kono says calmly, pinning him on the ground with her knee and handcuffing him. She holsters her weapon then grabs the metal of the cuffs and pulls the guy up.

"Ow-ow. Ow, watch it, what's your problem?" Great, the guy's chatty. He should have no problem answering a couple of questions then.

She pushes him towards the street, trying to remember where she'd parked her car. Steve is standing a few feet away, hands on his waist, staring at her and grinning.

"Thanks for the help, Boss." She snarks. "Really appreciate it."

"Looked like you had it under control." He says, still staring.

"Was that before or after she started shooting at me, brah?" The suspect whines-not that anyone pays him any attention.

···················

"That guy's looking at you." Meghan says, looking somewhere over Kono's shoulder.

Kono opens her mouth to say that no, no one is looking at her, she can tell when people are looking at her. But when she turns around, a guy by the bar is looking. He's sort of cute, in a boyish surfer guy kind of way.

She looks away.

"What?" Meghan asks, not seeing the problem. "He's cute. You should flirt back, maybe he'll come over here."

Kono takes a drink from her beer, setting it down harshly against the glass table. "Staring is not flirting, okay? I don't get the staring. For all I know, there's something on my face or whatever. I don't get it. He should come over and say something."

"O-kay." Meghan says slowly, looking at her like she may have to be committed to a mental facility. Well.

"Sorry, I'm…tired." Kono says in an apologetic tone, and it's half true. They have just wrapped up a grueling murder case and she's sleep deprived and stressed out. She half turns in her chair, looking at the guy again.

"He's not my type, anyway." She concludes. "Too blond."

···················

They're eating malasadas and going over case files and ohmyfreakingod Steve is staring. Why? Oh my god, WHY? Is it, like, some sort of hobby of his, he has to be staring at someone all the time? For all she knows, he spends the rest of his time staring at Chin or Danny.

You know, she's pretty sure he does spend an awful lot of time staring at Danny. Huh.

Chin's saying something about their suspect's wife and a credit card and she tries to pay attention, only Steve's-still-staring. God. Seriously? In front of the team? Seriously, Steve, _seriously_?

Okay. This is it. She's had enough. It's one thing for him to stare discreetly when she can pretend it's not happening, but the nerve of the man…

"What?" She snaps, interrupting Danny mid-sentence. The guys looks startled and Steve clears his throat nervously.

"You've got something-" He breaks off, indicating the general area of her mouth. Of course, _of course_ the one time she decides to address the situation he actually has a legitimate excuse for staring. Yes. Thank you. Embarrassed, she rolls her eyes and tries to wipe off the sugar with a paper towel but misses because Steve reaches over and brushes it off for her. Cause that's not awkward or anything.

"Right. Thanks."

"Sure."

"Okay…" Danny interjects, dragging the word out as if it had more than the two syllables, and looking vaguely suspicious. "Can we get back to the case please? If that's all right with you two?"

Steve is still staring.

···················

Kono wakes up at five, leaving her with plenty of time to find all her clothes and sneak out. She gets to her place to shower and change, and even has time to make some coffee. She's feeling rather proud of herself. She's an adult, she can do this. So, ok, one night stands are kind of pathetic in theory, but the guy was hot and she doesn't exactly have the time for a relationship right now. This keeps things simple. She won't even have to see the guy again; he was a haole staying at the Hilton so he was probably on a business trip or something.

She'll even make it to work on time, all mature and professional and shit. Look at that-one night stands might work. Not that she'll make it a habit, mind you, but it never hurts to have—Flowers.

There are flowers on her desk. Ok. Right. Kono's not really sure about the etiquette here, but she's pretty sure one night stands are not actually a flower giving sort of occasion. So. Ok, maybe she wasn't clear on the whole "let's not ever see each other again" thing. Great.

There's a card. How did this guy even know where she worked? How drunk was she last night? Just his name and number, what, is he looking for a repeat performance? Yikes. God. How does she get herself into these situations? HOW?

Okay, Kono, focus. The flowers have to go. The trashcan is transparent, so…She opens the bottom drawer, dumps the bouquet inside and-it won't close. Oh my god, why? She sighs, drags the trashcan behind her desk and dumps the flowers inside. Whatever.

Danny walks in a while later, and seeing as Kono doesn't want him to notice the flowers, the flowers are the first thing he notices.

"Kono!" He smiles, eyebrows raised. "What did those poor flowers ever do to you?"

Okay. Maybe one night stands are not such a great idea after all.

···················

The quarterback's tackled to the ground roughly, their side of the bleachers exploding in loud protest. Kono jumps on her seat, arms flailing, demanding to know the ref's problem. The guy's looking around in a daze, not even remotely resembling anyone with a clue. You'd think he was the one who'd just gotten knocked to the ground.

"Are you _kidding_ me, brah?" Kono cries, trying not to curse in front of Grace. What a fucking idiot.

"Kono?" Grace says with obvious reluctance. Kono climbs off the seat and smiles down at the little girl. She uses her friendly, accessible, I'm not a crazy person shouting at strangers smile and everything. "Can we go get a soda?"

Kono glances back at the football field, seeing a mob gathering around the ref, then turns back to nod. "Might be a good idea. It's probably too early for you to witness your first lynching."

There's a guy in front of them ordering for a dozen people so they have to wait in line for a while. How is he even going to carry all that shit back? Is he hiding a truck somewhere? Whatever.

"I think Uncle Steve likes you." Grace says out of the blue, staring at a menu. _What?_

"What?" Kono chokes out. Grace turns to look at her, expression earnest.

"He looks at you all the time. Like Danno looks at mum." She says in a thoughtful tone.

"Well." Kono tries to think. What's the appropriate response here? No, he's my boss? We're just friends? No, he doesn't creepily stare at me all the time? What?

"Well." She says again. "I don't know about that." Right. "But Steve has a girlfriend." There. Perfectly reasonable. Girlfriend.

"Oh." Gracie replies, looking puzzled. Kono glares at the back of the guy holding up the line, blaming him for the whole thing.

"But…" Grace insists, furrowing her brow. "Does he look at her all the time too?"

Right. Good question. I'll get back to you on that.

The idiot in front of them turns around, juggling a precariously balanced mountain of hotdogs. "Yeah, man. Does he look at her all the time?" He asks, like he's been a part of the conversation all along.

Kono gapes at him incredulously. "Mind your own business." She finally says, trying not to be amused and failing.

The guy shrugs, getting ketchup all over his shirt in the process and starts walking away. "Hey, don't shoot the messenger, brah." He calls over his shoulder.

Whatever.

···················

The water turns pink with someone else's blood. She tries to rub it off her hands, where it dried after she checked for a pulse. There was no pulse. The guy was dead.

But it's fine now. She knew a hot shower would make her feel better. She stays under the spray for a couple of minutes, and then turns it off. She twists her hair and squeezes, trying to get rid of the water.

The raid had gone wrong. The SWAT team was late and the case was time sensitive, so 5-0 went in alone. Somehow, someone snuck up on her. She turned around gun raised, and he was seconds from pulling the trigger. She got him first.

She steps out of the shower, looking for a towel, then stops, startled. Steve is leaning against the door, staring. She ignores him, takes the towel from the counter and starts drying off. She should have gone straight home, really, but Headquarters had a shower for this very purpose and she thought, what the hell. She hadn't wanted to stay covered in blood for a second longer than she had to.

She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to untangle the worst of it. Puts on her underwear, unhurried, like he isn't there at all. He doesn't avert his eyes, pretend to be a gentleman. She's pulling a top on when he decides to speak.

"You okay?" Not a man of many words, Steve. She keeps looking straight ahead at her reflection as she answers. Tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm fine."

It's the first time she's ever killed anyone.

"I'd have liked some privacy…" she trails off deliberately. He's not that easily distracted.

"You're on desk duty until you go through a psych eval." He announces flatly, watching for her reaction.

She turns to look at him but his face is closed off, unreadable, his arms crossed over his chest, his hands in tight fists.

"Whatever you say, Boss." She says after a small pause, going back to ignoring him.

···················

There's a black and white print of rusty train tracks on the wall to her left. The walls are a dull beige, and there are shelves full of knick knacks on either side of the window. The shrink is sitting in a green armchair across from Kono, looking both completely stress free and intensely interested in her life.

They've gone over the day of the shooting a couple of times, and Kono's getting restless.

"Look, I shot someone who was trying to kill me. Was it pleasant? No. Do I regret it? No. Would I do it again? Hell yes. I'm sure you can see I'm perfectly sane. So let's stop wasting each other's time, okay?"

The shrink nods her head several times and writes something down.

"Well, Officer Kalakaua, I can see you are dealing with recent events reasonably well and I feel it is safe to reinstate you to active duty."

Kono sighs in relief, sinking in her ugly armchair. "Thank you." You know, this lady isn't half so bad.

"However, I can also see you are under a fair amount of stress, so I will be recommending weekly sessions for the foreseeable future. How's next Thursday?"

Bitch.

···················

Desk duty hasn't been half bad, but she gets the feeling Steve is perversely pleased about her missing all the action, so when she gets cleared she heads to the palace planning to rub the damn form in his face.

When she walks in, they're gathered around the screen, going over some surveillance footage.

"Guess who's been cleared for duty?" She smiles widely, noting Steve's impassive expression. Chin looks glad and congratulates her and Danny exclaims in relief over having someone to do all the grunt work.

Steve just stares.

···················

She taps her fingers on the passenger side door, staring at the traffic in dismay. They're going to the morgue, but at this rate they won't get there before, oh, maybe 2014. Chin really should let her drive more.

She keeps up her nervous tapping, wishing the air conditioning was working. This car is crap, she thinks, looking over at Chin enviously. He looks calm and comfortable, as usual. She should ask him how he got to be this zen. But maybe it's a Chin thing. Wouldn't work for her, probably.

Chin looks at her and smiles.

"I'm really glad you got cleared, cuz."

Kono smiles back. "Thanks."

"Wasn't the same without you."

"Right." She says, rolling her eyes. "Wanna hug it out?"

"Shut up." Chin says, but he's still smiling.

···················

"So how are things at work?" Dr. Hale asks, pen poised and ready to scribble down anything relevant. Kono suspects the page is covered in doodles.

"Good. Things are good." She pauses, considering. Everything's pretty much back to normal. Even the staring. She shrugs helplessly.

"How do you feel about being back on active duty?"

"I'm pretty glad, paperwork can be tedious. I'm not really made for a desk job, either."

Dr. Hale looks at her calmly, apparently waiting for her to go on.

"I mean, I'm an active person, I surf, I run. That's the sort of thing I enjoy."

This doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Dr. Hale must agree with her because she changes the subject.

"How about your coworkers? How have they handled this?" She thinks about Steve, leaning against the bathroom door, watching her get dressed. She tries not to fidget. Shrinks are all about the fidgeting.

"I don't know, pretty much what you'd expect. My cousin was glad I got cleared right away, he seemed worried. We had a whole talk about our feelings and everything. You'd be proud."

Dr. Hale writes something down and then looks back at Kono. She doesn't say anything. It's like she's waiting her out. Kono doesn't like this game.

"Everything's back to normal." She says, because even silence seems significant to Dr. Hale.

"Is normal good?" The psychologist asks eventually, looking at Kono closely.

I don't know, Kono thinks.

"Yes." She says out loud. "Normal is good."

···················

Catherine stops by to take Steve out to lunch while he's still wrapping up a phone call, so she chats with Kono while she waits.

Kono likes Catherine. She's friendly and has a sense of humor, and she helps with a lot of cases. She likes Catherine, because with her around, the staring doesn't have to mean anything. She's like a girlfriend shaped buffer; Kono suspects that without her, work would be a lot more complicated.

So they talk for a while until Kono sees Steve hanging up the phone from the corner of her eye. She can tell the second he realizes Catherine is here, even though his face doesn't change at all.

"I think Steve's finished with that phone call." Kono says smiling. "You should go over there, surprise him." Yes, please, take him out to lunch, she thinks emphatically. He can spend his lunch break with his girlfriend and, you know, _not_ staring at his female teammates.

Catherine looks towards Steve's office, smiles tightly and waves. "I think it's too late for that." She says absent mindedly, and makes her way over there. "It was nice talking to you, Kono." She adds over her shoulder. She doesn't say they should do it again sometime.

Kono turns to look at Steve, who hasn't stopped staring at her.

···················

"I've noticed you don't really mention Commander McGarrett much." Dr. Hale says in a faux casual way that lets Kono know she thinks she's up to something.

She shrugs.

"You don't interact much?" The shrink presses, uncapping her pen. Uh oh. Kono has been to enough of these sessions to know that is a bad sign. Like a warning: weird mind game shit about to go down.

"Not really." She says carefully. "I work with Chin, mostly."

"So you don't really interact with Commander McGarrett." Hale repeats, touching the tip of her pen to the notebook. This is feeling suspiciously like a trap. Kono waits, maintaining eye contact. She leans back on the armchair, rests her hands on the handles, palms up, open. Look at me, I am an open book.

"I'm not sure what you mean to ask, Dr. Hale." She says in an earnest tone, furrowing her brow in confusion. Dr. Hale gives an exasperated smile, leans back on her chair and crosses her legs, caught with her hand in the metaphorical cookie jar.

That's right. Psychology works both ways, bitch.

"Let me rephrase: is there something about Commander McGarrett that makes you uncomfortable?"

···················

She stops at Kamekona's for some shave ice on her way back from the beach, orders her favorite flavor. She hears a girl's voice excitedly call her name and turns around to see Grace waving happily from a table with Danny and Steve. She smiles brightly at her and heads over.

"Howzit, guys?"

"Hey Kono!" Gracie greets her, almost bouncing on her seat. "Will you sit with us?"

"Yeah, come on, sit." Danny says, gesturing to the empty space next to Steve. She sits, and Gracie starts to tell her all about her weekend with her dad and Uncle Steve. Kono muses that a lot of people must mistake them for a gay couple.

"Uncle Steve?" Gracie says hesitantly after a while. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Steve, to his credit, only looks taken aback for about a second before he answers.

"I do?" It kind of sounds like a question.

Danny is watching his daughter curiously, looking bemused. Kono has a bad feeling she knows where this conversation is heading and it's nowhere she wants to go anytime soon. In fact, if this conversation were a moving vehicle, this is about the time Kono would unbuckle her seatbelt and consider jumping out.

"Is she nice?" Gracie asks seriously, looking as intrigued with the subject as possible for someone her age. Steve smiles in confusion, glancing at Danny uncertainly.

"Oh ho, don't look at me, my friend." Danny exclaims gleefully, apparently enjoying his partner's discomfort.

"Sure, she's nice." Steve says eventually, looking a bit alarmed at the turn of the conversation. He turns to look at Kono, who looks blankly back at him. You're on your own, brah. She's not even breathing if she doesn't have to. In fact, let's just pretend she's not here at all, how's that?

Gracie furrows her brow, looking from Steve to Kono in apparent confusion. Oh no. "Is she as nice as K—"

"O-kay!" Kono interrupts loudly, shooting Gracie a murderous look. Bad Gracie. No cookies for you. "You know what? I should be going. I'll see you guys later." She stands up hurriedly, avoiding eye contact. This is _beyond_ embarrassing.

She waves goodbye and leaves quickly, before a nine year old can try to set her up with her boss. Again.

God. Can her life be more pathetic?

···················

The dress, it turns out, is perfectly appropriate. The sales lady had promised as much when Kono bought it, but you never know with these things until it's too late. But no, the dress is fine. There are women in dresses a lot more daring and attention-catching than her own. Which is not to say she doesn't look great, because she so does, even though parts of the dress had to be taped in place to avoid any accidents.

It's her first black tie event, the 5-0 taskforce having been personally invited by the Governor, so Kono has been a little anxious about the whole thing. But this is fine. Not terribly exciting, truth be told, but there's free champagne and she gets to people-watch. In fact, there's a pretty blonde woman in a really tight dress trying to make a good impression on the Governor and failing spectacularly, all within easy viewing distance.

Now, if she can locate the waiter with the hors-d'oeuvres, she'll be a happy camper.

The blonde woman decides to give it up us a lost cause and zeroes in on her next target. Kono can see her face change from the demure and respectful expression she wore when talking to Hawaii's highest ranking elected official to something self-assured and almost predatory. She picks up a glass of champagne from a nearby waiter and starts walking towards…Kono.

Okay. _Awkward_.

Kono looks around, hoping she's not about to be hit on by a _woman_ in front of the _Governor_ , and thank you God, Steve is sitting a little to the left behind her, in a tux, making him an obvious (heterosexual) target. Phew.

Kono turns a little in her seat to guarantee herself a clear view and settles in. What? Anthropologists do this all the time! It's how you learn about foreign cultures. It's called observing their mating rituals. Cool, right? And the blonde girl is so foreign to Kono she might as well be from a different species.

The girl has just sat down next to Steve when Kono is distracted by the rare spotting of a tray of shrimp hors-d'oeuvres—delicious shrimp hors-d'oeuvres that deserve her undivided attention for a few minutes. Maybe she should have taken Chin's advice and had dinner beforehand. But then again, Chin didn't have to try to fit in a dress, did he?

When she turns her attention back to Steve and Officer Barbie, all she sees is the back of a blonde head. The woman had twisted herself around, elbow on the table supporting her head, a cascade of blonde curls blocking Kono's view of the proceedings. Kono watches for a while, amused, as the blonde attempts to talk and keep her balance at the same time. She gives the girl credit; Steve must hardly notice anything off, but Kono can see her high heeled shoes scramble for leverage.

She wonders why Steve didn't bring Catherine. She'd certainly deflect tipsy strangers' attempts at making a pass at him, save everyone the embarrassment.

Kono tries not to smile as the girl leans forward precariously, only managing to catch herself with a hand on the back of her chair. She has to straighten up to avoid landing in the soup bowl, and Kono feels a sharp twinge of pity for the blonde stranger when she sees Steve's expression.

She understands the girl's efforts now, because twisting herself in that position is the only way to effectively block Steve's view of Kono.

···················

"Let me rephrase: is there something about Commander McGarrett that makes you uncomfortable?" Dr. Hale says carefully, and Kono knows she's been played.

She could have answered before now, could have managed to deflect somehow, or speak about Steve in general, but Dr. Hale hadn't wanted that. Dr. Hale had wanted her to get defensive, so she could use that exact phrasing. Kono has to lie, or explain.

She figures lying would imply there was something off, so she tries to explain in a way that doesn't end with a harassment suit.

"Yeah, I guess." She says casually. She remembers the rumors going around about Steve's innovative methods of motivating suspects to cooperate.

"He can get pretty intense."

···················

The secret of writing a good incident report, Kono has discovered, is short sentences. Sure, they make her sound stupid, but they also help with clarity. Use long sentences and a good defense attorney can make it seem like your report is full of contradictions.

She's wrapping up and thinking about calling Chin to give her a ride home when Steve walks over to her desk.

"You almost done here?"

"Yeah, I'll be heading out soon." She says closing the file and starts getting her things together.

"You need a ride?" He asks casually, like he's asked every time she leaves late and he's still at the office.

"No thanks." She says clearly, searching her bag for her phone.

"Your car still in the shop?"

Right. She ran into a cab in pursuit of a suspect on their last case. Which he knows about. Of course.

"Chin's picking me up."

"I'll drop you off, it's fine."

She could insist, but that would imply she doesn't want him to give her a ride, which would in turn imply she has some reason to be avoiding him, which would only lead to awkwardness. There's just no graceful way to get out of this.

"Sure, Boss. Thanks." She smiles hesitantly.

"No problem."

Kono comforts herself with the thought that there must be a parallel universe in which this is not as categorically bad an idea as it sounds.

···················

He pulls up at her house, turns the engine off. She turns to smile at him politely, thanks him for the ride and gets out. She's only taken a couple more steps when she hears a car door close, the sound of the alarm. She keeps walking, looking for her keys. She gets to the door and Steve is right behind her. He stands next to her, staring.

She finds her keys, turns to look at him.

"Can I help you with something?"

He just smiles. She clutches her keys nervously.

"Boss?" She asks impatiently. Yeah, man. Her boss. That hit any nerve, make him uneasy about this at all?

"You can call me Steve, Kono." He says, still smiling. Still staring. So, apparently, the only person who cares this is inappropriate is Kono.

"Look, it's getting late…" She trails off, praying he'll take the hint. No such luck. She looks down at her hands, holding the keys so tight it hurts.

"You're not coming in." She says sharply, looking back at him. No reaction.

Fine. Whatever. She unlocks her door, shoves her way in and—he's right behind her, closing the door after him, then locking it. She looks around, trying to process, looking for a distraction. "How's Catherine?" She asks, folding her hands over her chest. Yes, Steve. How's your girlfriend? As in, do you remember you have one?

"We broke up." He says simply, walking towards her. Great, that's just great. Fucking fantastic. He backs her to the wall, starts to lean down.

"This is not a good idea." She says, and then he's kissing her.

···················

Sex with Steve is pretty much how she'd thought it would be; frantic and rough and scary intense.

He tears at her clothes-she barely manages to get his shirt off before he lifts her off the ground, shoves her back against the wall and thrusts inside her sharply. Her head falls back, knocking against a frame, hands clutching tightly at his shoulders. She makes a sound she doesn't recognize, half pain and half—He starts moving and it's almost too much. She bites down her lip to keep the screams in, but his hand moves to her thigh, getting a better angle so he's deeper, and he picks up the pace. She cries out loudly, her whole body trembling with the force he's using, nails scratching helplessly down his back, and he doesn't slow down. The frame gets knocked to the floor, glass shattering, and she doesn't even care as long as he—fuck, fuck, fuck—God it's so good. So fucking good. Oh, god yes, please.

He tangles a hand in her hair, brings her mouth to his and tries to shut her up because the neighbors will think she's being murdered and who the fuck even cares. He kisses her like he has every right to, no easing in to it or waiting for permission, just taking and taking and taking.

When she comes it's so incredible she feels like she might pass out.

···················

He stays over, sleeps with her on her bed, and wakes her up too early for another round. He pins her wrists to the mattress, finds an angle that makes her breath catch every time, goes slow. Over and over and over. He stops every time her eyes fall shut, waits until she looks at him again. She fights against his hold in frustration, begs for it, but he takes his time, kissing and biting her neck, her collarbone, leaving marks. After she finally comes, she turns her face away, closing her eyes. She's so sensitive she can barely handle his last few thrusts.

He brings a change of clothes from his truck, showers at her place, then drives them to work. He's in a great mood, relaxed, smiling. It's infectious. They make small talk and make fun of Danny and it's not awkward at all.

When they get to the office he tells her he's driving her home again today.

···················

At noon, Kono's on hold with a phone company, trying to get them to hand over their victim's call history when Steve and Danny get back from the interviews with the family.

She looks up, apparently catching Danny mid-rant, and rolls her eyes in amusement.

"I just want to know what the monumental event that caused this apparent good mood is, strictly for humanitarian purposes. I mean, you're less likely to shoot people today than you were yesterday, so if we make sure this wasn't some once every two years thing, I think—"

"I will literally pay you money to stop talking." Steve interrupts, but he sounds amused. He looks at Kono and smiles.

"How's it going? Did you get anything?"

"Nothing fishy about the bank records. I'm on hold with the phone company right now."

Steve nods and smiles again, as if he can't help it. Cute.

"Fishy? What, is this a Godfather movie? I didn't even know people used that word anymore." And Danny's off again.

···················

They spend most of the weekend in bed, at her place, seeing as Danny has the unfortunate habit of just showing up at Steve's at random, not bothering to knock. Steve makes breakfast, which they largely ignore.

They're lying there, panting, pretty much exhausted when someone's phone rings. No one moves to get it.

"It's yours." Steve says in a definitive tone, as if by wishing he can make it so.

"I'm pretty sure it's yours, Boss." Kono laughs, stretching lazily. The phone keeps ringing and Steve groans, fumbles on the nightstand to get it.

"What?" he snaps, sounding put out. Kono can actually hear Danny on the other end freaking out.

"Is that how you answer your phone now? Where are you, I called you like a million times! You don't pick up, so I go by your house, and guess what, you're not there! What could you be doing in—you're getting laid, aren't you? Unbelievable! What are you, sixteen? It's the middle of the day!"

Kono tries not to laugh as Steve rubs his temples like he feels a migraine coming on. When he finally hangs up, she looks at him and smiles widely.

"Was that your wife?"

···················

"Oh my god, that is so hot." Meghan laughs breathlessly. Kono looks up from her drink to see her friend holding what looks suspiciously like her phone. Hold on. Yep. That _is_ her phone.

"Meghan. Is that my phone?" Kono asks astutely, because she's a cop and she notices things like that. Hey. It's a talent.

Meghan does not look up from Kono's phone. Meghan sort of looks like she might want to make out with Kono's phone. Ew.

"Who is sending you these texts?" She asks, sounding both jealous and proud.

Kono leans over the table, snapping out of her absolute mortification, and grabs the phone from Meghan's hands. Then she sees the text Meghan was reading and she's absolutely mortified all over again. And also really turned on.

Oh my god, Steve, you have the worst timing.

"Kono!" Meghan half shouts, undeterred. "Please tell me you're having lots of dirty sex with the guy sending these, because if you're not there is something tragically wrong with you."

Kono blushes, because she is in fact having lots of dirty sex with the guy, but the people in the next table probably didn't need to hear about it.

"Can we please pretend this didn't happen?" She laughs, embarrassed. Meghan smiles widely, delighted.

"Oh, you _so_ are. Go Kono!"

Yeah. This is all Steve's fault and he will totally hear all about it. In fact, you know what? She should go over there right now, just to make sure she doesn't forget about it after a few drinks.

···················

She's making Steve pancakes, because she's awesome like that. They're at his place because Danny has Grace this weekend, and Steve's house is bigger anyway. _And_ he has a pool. She may have plans for the pool.

She's trying to find the syrup when the doorbell rings. She freezes comically, hidden behind the refrigerator door. The bell rings again.

Okay, Kono, be cool. You're just…stopping by to make breakfast. Without shoes on. Totally normal.

She opens the door, smiles cheerfully. "Hey, Mary Ann, come in."

"Hey! Kono, right?" Mary Ann smiles back, walking past her to the kitchen. "Ooh, there's pancakes!" she says spotting the plate on the counter.

"Yeah, I was just looking for syrup or something." Kono says, real casual like.

"Did you check behind the cereal? Here it is!" Mary Ann exclaims, getting a plate and helping herself to half the pancakes. Yeah. Kono may have to make some more.

"Where's Steve?" She asks distractedly, pouring syrup with manic glee.

"He's in the shower." Kono replies flatly. Whatever, brah. Cat's pretty much out of the bag.

"Do I smell pancakes?" Steve says, coming down the stairs, in a rare stroke of good timing. He's wearing boxers and trying to towel dry his hair, looking actually edible. You know what, screw breakfast. They should go back to bed.

"Hey, Steve." Mary Ann says, waving her fork. Oh, right. They have company. Gahhh.

Fine, whatever.

Steve looks startled, and turns to Kono, eyebrows raised in question. Kono just shrugs.

"Apparently Mary Ann is staying for breakfast." She says, handing him a plate.

He laughs and gives her a quick kiss, and when he pulls back he looks so unabashedly happy it ties her stomach in knots.

Mary Ann just makes a disgusted sound and reminds them she's eating.

···················

They're driving back from her favorite surfing spot, Kono trying to find a decent song on the radio, when Steve clears his throat.

"So, I'm thinking we should start telling people."

Kono turns to look at him, mouth gaping. They're stuck listening to Abba, but she's too startled to care.

"What? That's a terrible idea." She says, trying to understand where this is coming from. Also, she can't believe she's having this conversation to an Abba song.

"Listen, people will figure it out one way or the other. I'm just saying, it might good to, you know, ease them into it."

"Steve. You're my boss." She says slowly, in case he's forgotten.

"Look, I'm not saying we tell everyone. But Chin and Danny work with us every day." He pauses, sighing. "It's just more practical."

"You just want to be able to stare at me all the time." She accuses, deflecting.

"That too." He nods, not missing a beat. He goes to add something but hesitates, glancing at the radio with a puzzled frown. "Are we listening to Abba?"

Kono rolls her eyes and changes the station. "Like you get to judge." She mocks, only half joking. "You have terrible taste in music."

"I do not!" Steve protests convincingly but come on. She's been to his house. She's seen his CD collection (He's _old_ , okay? Deal with it).

"Do too." She retorts smartly. Yeah.

The conversation pretty much deteriorates after that.

···················

There are exactly twelve people crammed around the dinner table, but growing up in a large family Kono has long ago mastered the art of eating without elbowing anyone in the gut. Chin is sitting across from her and seems to be having some trouble, being twice her size and having skipped a lot of family dinners the last few years. She's sure it will come back to him.

One of her cousins is getting married and Kono's mother has been endlessly pestering her with questions. At this point, Kono feels certain she's better informed on the wedding plans than everyone except maybe the wedding planner. She's praying for a change of subject. You can do this, Kono. The power of positive thinking and all that.

"So Kono" her cousin Leah starts, in a break between her mother's questions "I saw you at the beach the other day." She says in an overly casual tone, smiling mischievously. Well what do you know? That positive thinking shit might actually work.

"I would have said hi, but you looked pretty busy, what with that guy's tongue down your throat and everything." Kono almost chokes on her water and she knows, she just knows that she's blushing. Chin is looking a little bit curious and a whole lot amused and her mother leans forward in her chair."You know, tall, dark, handsome? Kept staring at you like you're the best thing since sliced bread? Ring any bells?"

Ohmygod, no. Please, for the love of all that is holy, let's not go there. Let's go back to talking about the bridesmaid dresses. I beg of you.

"I didn't know you were seeing anyone, Kono." Her mother says, somehow managing to sound both interested in the subject and hurt by the obvious omission. Kill me now. Okay, Kono, just breathe. It's going to be fine. Just keep your answers brief, don't volunteer any information. Like talking to a lawyer.

"Have you been dating for long?" She presses.

"Just a few months." Kono admits finally. Three and a half, really, but who's counting? Not Kono.

"Is it serious?" Leah jumps in, probably finding this more entertaining than the comparative analysis of different types of wedding cake.

"Uh—Maybe? I don't know." Kono stutters in embarrassment. _Is it_ serious? She's never thought about it.

"Oh, you better find out soon, because the way that man was looking at you? He definitely knows." Leah says with finality, stabbing the air with her fork to make her point.

···················

The team is hanging around at the office, watching old football games and celebrating another case closed. Steve is sitting next to her, his arm casually resting on the back of her chair. Sure. They do this all the time at work. Not.

"Hey Danny, I meant to tell you." Steve says in a normal voice, but he's tapping his fingers against her shoulder nervously. Danny makes a sound to suggest he's paying attention, when he is in fact trying to inhale the contents of a Chinese takeout carton.

"Evaluations are coming up."

"And I need to know this because?" Danny mumbles around his chop sticks, still distracted.

"You're doing Kono's." He says simply, with all the subtlety of a person who would drive a truck through the side of a building and call it just another day at the office.

In hindsight, Kono should have probably seen this coming. When Steve said "let's ease them into it" what he actually meant was "let's just blurt it out at an inopportune moment in the most nonchalant way possible". She just forgot to translate.

Everyone turns to look at Steve, who's sitting there calmly, watching the game, his arm still around the back of Kono's chair.

"I am?" Danny asks finally, like he's not sure he heard right. "Why?"

Because there is actually only one scenario in which Steve wouldn't do her evaluation himself, and that scenario implies they're dating. Which they are—discreetly. Or, you know. Not so discreetly anymore.

GOD. Seriously? This is how he tells the team? _Seriously?_

Kono stares at Steve incredulously, trying to understand how she ever feels like sleeping with this idiot, until Chin clear his throat.

"Something we should know?" he asks, face neutral. Steve shrugs, looks at her. Kono rolls her eyes at him in exasperation and turns back to the rest of the team.

"Steve can't do it." She says resolutely, doing that thing where you look at the tv and it doesn't even matter if it's on because what you're actually doing is avoiding having to look at someone else.

"Can't." Steve confirms happily, fingers playing with her loose hair.

"Oh ho ho!" Danny exclaims looking like Christmas has come early. "So that's what's been going on. Because I'm telling you, I thought you'd had a lobotomy or something with all the smiling and the joking—"

"Let's change the subject." Kono suggests with fake cheer.

···················

"So I'm dating someone."

Dr. Hale doesn't so much as blink, but Kono thinks she might be doing somersaults on the inside, since this is the first time she has volunteered information, ever.

"Is it going well?" Hale asks, impassive.

"I don't know. I don't think so." She looks out the window absently, the leaves of a tree brushing against the glass.

"I think I'm in love with him."

···················

It's been a few days from the evaluation debacle, as Kono refers to it in private, and they're driving to a crime scene in silence when Chin decides to address the elephant in the car.

"So, you and McGarrett?"

Kono looks at him, but his face is calm, closed off. Chin must be an excellent poker player, but Chin is an excellent everything, so no surprises there.

"Yeah." She says, shifting uncomfortably in her seat and staring ahead at the road.

"I didn't think you were interested, to tell you the truth." Chin says and Kono turns to look at him in surprise.

"Steve's a good guy, cuz." Chin continues. "It's obvious…he's really invested in this. If you're not ready for that sort of commitment, you need to rethink this before someone gets hurt." His tone is gentle, chiding, like something a parent would use to remind a kid to feed their goldfish.

It's funny but in worrying over Chin's reaction, she's never considered he'd be more concerned about _Steve_ in this equation.

···················

There are marks on her neck and down her collarbone and her concealer is running out so she has to be smart about this. The lower ones are harder to see, not as conspicuous, so she starts with what's more obvious and works her way down.

"So I was thinking…" Steve says, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel, "…my place is a lot nicer than your place."

"The view is much better, for one." Kono agrees laughingly, staring at his abs.

"No, think about it." Steve insists. "It's bigger, it's more comfortable, the water pressure is better, it's much closer to work and the beach _and_ it's got a pool." He says confidently, wrapping a towel around his hips and leaning against the counter to look at her. "I know you like the pool." He grins.

Kono finishes putting away her make up things and turns to look at him oddly. "Steve. My place sucks. I _know_ my place sucks. I have embraced the complete suck that is my place. So what's with the sales pitch?"

"I think you should move in." He concludes, smiling widely. Kono stares at him for a bit, startled.

"Are you sure?" She asks hesitantly, furrowing her brow. "Because I'm…kind of messy." She reminds him reluctantly. "And you're all Super SEAL and, I mean, it could get out of hand."

Steve steps forward to lift her on the counter, slipping his hands under her top and slowly pulling it up. "I like messy." He says against her lips, hands running teasingly down her back. He's still a liar though, because whenever she throws a jacket over a chair or something he keeps glancing over at it in discomfort until she takes pity on him and picks it up.

Well. Sometimes she does it on purpose because it's kind of funny.

"Not to mention…" she adds breathlessly, as he unbuttons her jeans and helps her kick them down her legs, "…you have a pool. So you'll probably never be able to get rid of me."

"That's kind of the plan." Steve admits laughingly, and leans down to kiss her.

You know what? If he's lying, it's working.

···················

That afternoon he makes sure Danny and Chin are distracted, drags her to the locker room and locks the door. He tells her she has to be quiet, and she promises she will but she probably won't. She never can.

He holds her flat against the wall, his hand on her hip the other tangled in her hair as he pushes inside her, slowly—her mouth falls open in a gasp so he kisses her and keeps kissing and kissing her until she comes apart.

Afterwards she's shaky and can hardly get her legs to work and she just wants to get home and do that again.

God, she hopes the guys didn't hear anything.

···················

"Is that the money?" The guy asks gesturing at the pretty leather briefcase she's carrying.

"Let's see what I'm buying first." Kono says confidently, raising an eyebrow. She's undercover again, playing an art dealer trying to buy some smuggled pieces for a private collector. The team has this place surrounded, ready to go in as soon as she gets visual confirmation.

Which she does. Looks sort of ugly to her, but there's really no accounting for taste.

She sets the briefcase-supposedly filled with money-down on the table, opens it and goes for her gun calmly and it would have worked too (not to mention it'd have been totally badass), except someone tries to tackle her from behind. She drops her gun and it gets shoved under the table as she elbows the guy in the gut, turns around and uses his weight to drop him to the floor. She lifts up her skirt, draws her backup gun on him.

They've arrested everyone else while she's been otherwise engaged and HPD is taking everyone in. Kono handcuffs the guy and straightens up, putting her weapon back in its holster and smoothing her skirt down. There's an officer standing close by, gaping like a fish.

Steve walks up, shoving past the poor officer moodily, picks up the cuffed suspect and pushes him towards the cop, who's still rubbing his shoulder in surprise. "What?" Steve says, sounding pissed off. "Nobody ever tell you it's rude to stare?"

Kono has to stifle a hysterical giggle.

···················

They're at the beach, Kono lying on a towel and watching Steve get out of the water. Steve is admittedly a good looking guy, but wet and dripping he looks like something she'd like to attack.

She might be seeing things in slow motion. She might also- possibly-be drooling.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." Someone says from her right, and she looks up to see Meghan staring down at her, laughing at Kono's obvious distraction. "Not that I blame you." She adds in a placating tone, turning to glance at Steve. "I mean…hello six pack!" She laughs wiggling her eyebrows obscenely. Nice.

"I know, right?" Kono says casually, watching Steve come closer. Meghan starts to say something else but trails off when Steve comes to stand next to her, looming over Kono.

"Hey." He says smiling.

"Hi." Kono smiles back stupidly, squinting up at him. "You're dripping all over me." She adds after an awkward pause where they all stand around looking at each other.

"You're sitting on my towel." Steve says in explanation. Kono rolls her eyes and sits up to pass him his towel.

"Steve, this is Meghan. Meghan, Steve." She introduces dutifully.

"It's nice to meet you." Steve says honestly, wiping himself down. He's been kind of bugging her about meeting her friends. Honestly, he's such a girl sometimes.

"You too." Meghan smiles widely, glancing back at Kono. Yeah. She's pretty impressed. "Is this the guy?" She asks bluntly. Real subtle, Meghan is.

"This is the guy." Kono confirms in a flat voice, even though she's kind of amused.

They make small talk for a little while until Meghan returns to her friends, leaving them to cram their stuff into Steve's car and head home. Home. Where they both live. Huh.

They're pulling up at the driveway when she gets a text from Meghan.

"Was that your BOSS?" It reads. "Someone's been _naughty_!"

Oh, yeah. There is that.

···················

There's someone in the house.

Steve is already up and reaching for his gun, Kono right behind him. Training kicks in, and they walk downstairs quietly, checking rooms as they go. Footsteps again, boots maybe, in the living room. Steve nods at her to go around through the other door and she does because he's her boss and it's, like, in her programming. Kind of embarrassing, really.

She can see a guy, dressed in black, shoving her laptop in a bag and she's actually relieved because, hey, he's not there to kill them. Always a pleasant surprise in her book. Must be an amateur, too, trying to rob a cop's house. Real sloppy work, it's almost sad. But then he goes for the X-box. _The X-box._ This means war, brah.

Steve sneaks up on their would-be burglar and next thing she knows, the guy is flat on the floor face against the carpet. What? It's perfectly clean, she vacuumed recently. Like a couple of weeks ago. Whatever.

"What the fuck man?" the guy shouts indignantly, as if _they're_ the ones that broke into his house to steal his X-box. Really, man, really?

"Hey, shut up!" Steve says in his scary Navy SEAL voice, and what do you know? The guy can take a hint. Kono calls the police to have someone come over and book this sorry excuse of a criminal and then they wait in the living room, the guy cuffed to a chair. HPD takes a while to get there, and Kono has to repeatedly stop herself from offering the guy something to drink.

···················

Because Kono is having a great day already, as luck would have it, HPD sends over Officer Jenkings and his rookie partner, Noah. That's right. Noah.

Kono hasn't seen Noah in a while. She's kind of been avoiding her friends in the force, mostly because she doesn't need the entire HPD gossiping about her living arrangements. Which, of course, looks like a moot point right now.

Noah is surprised to see her, but tries to be professional, takes her statement asking all the questions he's supposed to ask in the exact order he's supposed to ask them.

Afterwards, he closes his notebook and clears his throat nervously.

"So how've you been, Kono? We haven't talked in a while."

"Yeah, it's been busy. I'm doing great actually. Attempted robbery aside. And you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. You know. Not much to report."

There's an awkward silence, where Kono wants to get everyone out and go back to sleep while Noah wants to ask an obvious question.

"So, you like—you live here?" He asks hesitantly, as if he won't believe it without confirmation, even though it's probably pretty evident at this point.

"Pretty much, yeah." Kono says tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

"Well, that's—good, I mean…" He seems to fumble for something to say, gives up. "You know what I mean." He laughs, rolls his eyes at his stupidity.

"Yeah, Noah, I know what you mean. Thanks." She says smiling. If this goes on any longer, there's a good chance she'll fall asleep standing up.

"Right." Noah says, glancing over her shoulder. "Ok. We're done here. I'll just…get out of your hair." He goes to pat her arm, seems to reconsider, and walks out.

She turns around and Steve is staring, no surprises there.

···················

There's a different print on the wall. It's just a picture of a window, but it's a lot more cheerful than the last one, so she'll take it. Too much time staring at those rusty train tracks could make anyone feel depressed. I mean, people kill themselves by jumping in front of trains all the time. Then again, there's probably even more people who jump out of windows. Maybe someone should suggest a new decorator. It is, after all, a shrink's office; wouldn't want the patients to get any ideas.

This is her last session and Dr. Hale seems more uptight than usual, like she's figuring out how to say something. Kono just sits, staring at the new print serenely.

"Do you feel like you've made any progress?" Dr. Hale asks eventually, looking down at her notes.

"I guess so." Kono admits generously, feeling kind of sorry for the doctor. There she sits, in a pathological search for validation so severe she actually had to make a career out of it, and Kono is being all sane and untroubled. Shucks.

"I've been dealing with things a lot better." She adds, to make it more believable. Dr. Hale does not look convinced. Maybe she should work on her acting skills?

"Do you feel like you've been honest during these sessions?" the doctor asks in a carefully neutral voice but Kono can see Hale's really upset that she hasn't gotten her to open up and spill all her childhood traumas. Aw. How sweet. Didn't know you cared so much, doc.

"I've been as honest as I can be to someone who is obligated to report back to HPD." Kono explains flatly. And that's the best deal you're ever gonna get, lady. So suck it up.

Dr. Hale doesn't look too surprised to hear this, although she does raise her eyebrows in a perfunctory reaction. She claps her pen, puts her notes down on a side table, looks at Kono for a minute.

"I have to tell you, Kono." She says after a while. "What concerns me about you is your ability to either rationalize or else completely ignore anything you deem unpleasant. I'm sure you can see how that is a potentially dangerous way to deal with things."

Kono considers this for a second, which is a second longer than necessary. "Look, Dr. Hale. I like you. I've been as open as possible. But thinking you know anything about me, about how I deal with unpleasant situations, after a few months is…pretty laughable." She says and, to hell with it, she leans forward in her seat, clenching her fingers into fists, all fidgety and shit. She's trying to make a point here.

"I shot someone, and I dealt with that, because that's my job." Kono says, because it's really as simple as that. She's, like, the definition of a well adjusted person. "And frankly, that is the only thing I believe you are qualified to know about my life." She concludes sharply. She glances at the clock, gets up to grab her jacket.

"I believe our time is up."

···················

Steve is rearranging the furniture in his office. The official reason is: there's a draft. No, seriously. That's what he tells Danny when he asks, and Chin, and even Kono. Nobody but Danny bothers to tell him he's not making any sense.

"Seriously" Danny is saying perplexed, "why are you doing this? Is it Feng Shui? Is your desk not facing east for optimal productivity? Is something blocking the flow of chi in the room? What?" At this point, Danny realizes that everyone has turned to look at him funny because he sort of blushes and smoothes down his tie nervously.

"What? A man can know about these things." He frowns, defensive. "I have hobbies, interests, I am a well-rounded individual."

"That's good to know, Danny." Steve says seriously, dragging his chair across the room. "No, really. You never know when your knowledge of interior design could come in handy. It's good to have an expert at hand."

"You're mocking me, that's…real mature, by the way. But it's fine, you know what? Feng Shui has changed my life. I used to get these terrible headaches, which I thought, working with you? Kind of a package deal, but I moved my bed around, and poof! Headache's gone. So go ahead, mock all you want, while I enjoy my headache-free life."

"I think I might be getting a headache." Chin remarks ruefully at Kono who gives him a sympathetic look and hands him some aspirin she keeps on her top drawer for this sort of thing.

"Look, all done." Steve says with finality. He hasn't actually changed that much, just turned his desk around to face left and—Ohmygod, that idiot! This is so mortifying. She can't believe he did this. Seriously, this is so unprofessional, why? WHY on earth would he do such a thing? She glares at him murderously, hoping no one else has figured it out.

Steve sits down in his chair, trying it out. "See? No more draft." He says, sounding pretty pleased with himself, gesturing wide. Danny runs a hand through his hair in exasperation and declares he's getting lunch. Chin almost sighs in relief and goes back to his paperwork, but Kono is still staring at Steve, waiting.

And sure enough, when Steve looks up from his desk, he's staring right at her, smirking. She glares back. That sappy _idiot_. He sees her glaring, and breaks into a smile, acting comically surprised. Kono is not buying it.

"Look at that!" He says cheerily. "I have a clear view of your desk, Kalakaua."

"Yeah, imagine that." Kono says dryly. "How will I ever concentrate now?"

Steve spends the rest of the day staring at her, not getting anything done.

···················

They're having a barbeque at their place, because everyone else is too lazy to host it or deal with the clean up afterwards. Steve is at the grill, in the middle of a long winded dispute with Danny about how his hotdogs compare to New Jersey hotdogs. Unfortunately, Kono has to hear this sort of stuff a lot at work, so she's trained herself to tune it out.

She's in the kitchen, chopping up things for a salad in case anyone decides they want to try to eat better, maybe make it to forty. Grace is with her, leaning against the counter and pretending to help.

"Babies make a lot of noise." Grace remarks, seemingly out of the blue. Kono looks over at her with a puzzled expression, and sees the girl looking back at her expectantly.

"O-kay…" Kono says, bemused. "What made you think of that?"

Grace gives an exaggerated shrug. "I just thought I should tell you. My friend Tommy has a baby brother, and he cries all the time. And his mum has to stay at home, taking care of him all day long, and she had to quit her job."

Kono stops chopping and turns to look at Gracie, because obviously there's something going on here and she's not getting it. Is Rachel pregnant or something?

"Gracie" Kono starts hesitantly "do you want to talk to me about anything?"

Grace rolls her eyes as if Kono is the one not making any sense here.

"I just think you should know, because if you have a baby you won't have so much time to take me to football games and teach me how to surf."

Okay. There's been some serious miscommunication here.

"Grace, sweetheart. Noone's having a baby." She says, trying not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation, because Grace is being all cute and insecure. Grace looks at Kono steadily, as if trying to see if she's lying and finally nods, satisfied.

Kono sighs in relief and goes back to chopping carrots.

"You should tell Uncle Steve, though." Gracie adds thoughtfully. "Because when I was outside, he was telling dad you'll have to look for a bigger house when you have kids."

WHA—"Ow!"

Great. Now she's bleeding.

In other news, Steve has apparently decided they're having kids WITHOUT EVER TALKING TO HER ABOUT IT.

That's just…great. Fucking typical. HOW does she even get herself into these situations?

"Grace, honey? Can you grab me a band aid?" She asks calmly. She looks through the window at Steve who sees her staring and waves, grinning widely and looking stupidly happy.

Whatever. He's still a douchebag.

"And maybe tell Uncle Steve I'm going to murder him?"

···················

The End


End file.
